What is LOVE?
Do any of the words above sound like something you've said or thought? We'll I have,that's where the words came from. As we are approaching the new year,I want us to approach it correctly. You know how it is,everyone is setting intentions, making vision boards,blah blah blah! How many times have you made a resolution and it had no resolve? I've done it a thousand times. I'm pretty good with saying,i'll exercise more,eat healthier,and following through on it. So what about the other things,like real love,friendships,and peace? I can look back over the last few years of my resolution lists and see the same things on there. Things like don't settle for less,don't give away your peace,guard your energy & power,release pain & forgive. I want those things so much, and have yet to get them-why? The answer is multi-layered. So here we go..
First -I can't get the things I want from outside of myself...They are inside of me already.
We have a tendency to look for others to give us what we think we don't have. God has given all of us the gift of being able to give & share love. If you are able to give something,that means you have it. Another person can't give you that gift,they can combine theirs with yours and add more to your life. This truth is for all relationships in your life.
Second - Not knowing the real definition of a word will make you use it out of context.
The word love is powerful,but even more powerful than the word itself is the outward expression of it. Love is an action word. Love exhibits itself as kindness,patience,loyalty,civility,brotherhood & sisterhood. When we don't measure something and weigh it against it's true definition,we will think we are giving & getting something that we're not. Are the people in your life showing love, or saying love?
Third- If it walks like a duck...talks like a duck...
We have to understand that we are in control of our internal space. I'm being very specific with this- so please hear me! We may not always be able to control our outside environment,but we can control our inside environment. Is it always easy to have peace inside when there is chaos outside?-NO,but it can be done. There are so many times in my life that people have said love & not showed love, and I excused them. I wrote it off as I'm going to walk in forgiveness, and Just pray for them. Was that the right thing to do? Absolutely,but here's the wrong thing to do-keep allowing the same pain to be caused by the same people or situation. I can guarantee that I am the most loyal person you'll meet,but I am learning to be loyal to myself,by honoring myself. We don't have to keep allowing the same negative things in our lives in order to prove we are loyal, or to show forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't mean I have to have a person in my life in an intimate way. Once you see what a person is capable of, believe it. If a person is willing to hit you,lie to you,steal from you, & cheat on you then that means at some point they saw you as less than worthy of the best. Now you may say to yourself,"they don't know how to love","it's not their fault", and those things may be true,but should that mean that you now become the scapegoat for the self work they haven't done in their lives? My answer is NO!!!
In the last few years I have been allowed to see some ugly truths about some of the people in my life and I can honestly say it's been the most painful thing to face. I consider myself very strong-I have been through crying as a little girl because of an absent father, then going on to become a single mother and relive those same abandonment issues,a rape that I blocked out until years after it happened,having no car and having to walk miles under highways with my son on my back to make sure he made it to his pre-k class,and the list goes on. Even with all of that pain..these revelations have been the hardest. Why? because the pain is coming from my family.
Fourth- No matter who or what it is don't compromise your well being.
We've already talked about love being an action word..but when it comes to family & some friends we've been taught that we can waiver on the definition. I'm here to tell you that wavering will weigh on you. We are all born with an innate since of loyalty to our family,so it's easy to make excuses for them. The Bible teaches that those who are about God's business are the ones that are your sister & brother. What does that mean? God is all about love & showing it through our lives towards one another. Gods love is about treating your neighbor as yourself,& laying down your life for a friend. So if someone (no matter who they are) isn't displaying those types of actions, then by definition they aren't your family. This has been so hard for me to come to terms with. Having to put borders up from my family has really broken a piece inside of me.
Fifth- Don't allow others to break you because they didn't make you.
Read the last sentence in point number 4..Yikes! How did that happen? A piece was allowed to be broken because I put more stock into my family than into God and the real meaning of love. I didn't think I was,but the effect it has had on my being is more than enough proof. I have been feeling heavy,and physically & mentally drained. I should not have allowed my spirit to be infiltrated with negative energy for so long.We tend to put others before God & ourselves and that's when we start to feel cheated & taken for granted. We need to keep God at the forefront of our minds & actions. When we love or give, do it as if we are doing it and giving it to him. Why? People who aren't living love in it's true definition will never appreciate you in the way that you deserve because they can't. No one can give you what they don't have. If I had listened to the gift of Gods wisdom and focused my time on him and not fixing others,I wouldn't feel this way. Is there hope for you & I? YES!!
Now that I've spent time looking back on where I went wrong,I have to move forward. The way to set my intentions this year is to measure everything & everyone by true love. Things like don't settle for less,don't give away your peace,guard your energy & power,release pain & forgive will be accomplished because I'm not ignoring the signs. I will try the spirit by the spirit-in other words..whatever someone says- I will watch what they do. I will also make sure that what I want to get back is what I'm putting out. We have to live our lives with the intent of reaping goodness. We can't reap what we don't sow. I will also understand that my loyalty is to God & not family or anyone else. I will remember that my family are those that fall in line with God's definition. I will not make excuses for people who won't do "the work" that needs to be done in order to better themselves. I will remember that I'm well equipped with the necessary tools to live the life I want,and that no one can take my peace, I must offer it up.
Love & Light