DON'T PLAY WHERE YOU GET PAID

SO YO , IT'S THE NEW YEAR AND YOU ARE READY TO TAKE OFF IN YOUR CAREER. YOU'VE PUT IN THE EXTRA HOURS,TAKEN THE SEMINARS,NETWORKED UNTIL YOU RAN OUT OF BUSINESS CARDS,PROVEN THAT YOU CAN PISS WITH THE BIG BOYS,AND MADE AN INSPIRATION BOARD THAT WOULD EVEN MAKE OPRAH JEALOUS! YOU DESERVE THAT PROMOTION,BUT THERE'S ONE LITTLE PROBLEM; YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH YOUR BOSS. IT STARTED OUT AS WORKING LATE AND ORDERING IN FOOD,TO WORKING AT YOUR PLACE, AND  NOW THEIR TOOTHBRUSH IS ON YOUR SINK. HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN? I'LL TELL YOU HOW-YOU FORGOT TO NEVER PLAY WHERE YOU GET PAID,YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP THE LIGHTS ON DEAR.DON'T PUT YOUR LIVELIHOOD AT RISK.

OFFICE FLIRTING IS PRETTY COMMON,I MEAN HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU WENT TO THE BREAK ROOM JUST TO WALK BY THAT LITTLE CUTIE'S DESK. IT STARTS OUT SIMPLE WITH SMILES AND BLUSHING,BUT IF TAKEN FURTHER USUALLY ENDS UP WITH YOU STANDING IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE.

SO RITA FROM VEGAS WROTE US AND SAID THAT SHE'S BEEN WORKING TOWARDS A PROMOTION IN HER FIELD OF ACCOUNTING,BUT NOW SHE'S AFRAID THAT SHE MAY NOT GET IT. THE SH** HAS HIT THE FAN! HER LOVER -AKA DUDE WHO SIGNS HER TIME CARD, HAS BEEN FLIRTING WITH THE NEW RECEPTIONIST. SHE TRIED TO PLAY IT COOL AND DO THE "WE'RE ALL ADULTS HERE" GAME,BUT HER FEELINGS ARE DEFINITELY IN IT. SHE ASKED HIM ONE NIGHT WHILE THEY WERE WATCHING TV, IF HE HAD LOOKED OVER HER NEW PROPOSAL FOR THE UPCOMING FISCAL YEAR,AND HE JUST BLEW OFF THE QUESTION.FOR SOME TIME NOW HE HAS BEEN UNINTERESTED IN ANYTHING SHE HAS TO SAY THAT'S WORK RELATED. WE'LL I HATE TO TELL YA DOLL,YOU MAY NOT GET THAT PROMOTION (update your linkedin profile now). NO MATTER HOW QUALIFIED YOU ARE, YOUR BOSS WILL JUST SEE YOU AS THE WOMAN WHO HE'S SLEEPING WITH. YES YOU'VE PROVEN THAT YOU CAN DO THE JOB,BUT IN HIS EYES YOU'VE ALSO PROVEN A LACK OF SELF CONTROL AND "WEAKNESS", BY "GIVING IN" TO HIM. MOST MEN THINK OF WOMEN AS EMOTIONAL CREATURES. THEY FEEL THAT OUR INCLINATIONS TOWARDS OUR FEELINGS IS A FLAW IN OUR ARMOR. YOUR BOSS HAS TO BE ABLE TO RESPECT YOU,AND SEE YOU AS A FORMIDABLE FORCE.THE FACT THAT HE'S ALREADY ON TO THE NEXT IN YOUR FACE, PROVES THAT HE DOESN'T RESPECT YOU. MOST MEN LIKE THAT DANGLE THE POSSIBILITY OF UPPER MOBILITY AS A WAY TO SEDUCE. DON'T THINK FOR ONE SECOND THAT THEY AREN'T AWARE OF THE STRUGGLES THAT WOMEN FACE IN WORKPLACE EQUALITY. MEN SLEEP WITH THEIR CO-WORKERS AND STILL GAIN THE RESPECT FROM THEIR PEERS AND ARE ABLE TO MOVE UP THE CORPORATE LADDER. IN "THE BOYS CLUB" THERE ARE RULES FOR "THEM" AND RULES FOR "US". IF YOU'VE MADE THIS ALL TOO COMMON MISTAKE HERE'S HOW TO BEND THE RULES BACK IN YOUR FAVOR. 

RITA SAID SHE NEEDS GUMPTION TO MAKE THESE THREE THINGS HAPPEN...HERE'S WHAT I SAY ABOUT IT: 

  1. KEEP HER JOB:

TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN,STOP SLEEPING WITH HIM NOW! THE FACT THAT YOU BEGIN TO DENY HIM SOMETHING WILL SHIFT THE POWER BACK TO YOU. YOU DON'T NEED TO GIVE HIM ANY EXPLANATION AND THERE ARE NO LONG CONVERSATIONS NEEDED.JUST CUT HIM OFF! MAKE SURE TO SHOW UP TO WORK WITH A BIG SMILE ON YOUR FACE,AND BE PROFESSIONAL.KEEP DOING THE GREAT JOB ,YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE. ALSO THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE THE RECEPTIONIST,COMPLIMENT HER. MAKE HER YOUR ALLY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO HANG OUT WITH HER,BUT IF SHE IS THINKING ABOUT GOING AGAINST YOU ON THE UPWARD CLIMB THROUGH CLIMBING ON HIM,IT LET'S HER KNOW THAT YOUR CONFIDENT IN WHAT YOU HAVE. NOW THIS MAY SEEM TRIVIAL BUT IT THROWS HIM OFF OF HIS GAME. HE WILL SEE YOU AS A PERSON WHO CAN BE A BOSS WHEN NEEDED. BOSSES HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE THE SAME. YOU MUST KEEP YOUR PROFESSIONAL GOALS IN MIND. 

  1. GET THE PROMOTION SHE'S EARNED

KEEP SHOWING UP AND SHOWING OUT,BUT ALSO FORM NEW ALLIANCES WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE ABOVE HIM. IN OTHER WORDS FORGET ABOUT THE CHAIN OF COMMAND! HE ALREADY BELIEVES THAT HE'S THE GATE KEEPER TO YOUR DOOR OF SUCCESS,SO SHOW HIM THAT YOU ALWAYS KEEP A SPARE UNDER THE RUG. SEND EMAILS TO SOME UPPER LEVEL EXECS TO EXPRESS YOUR SATISFACTION WITH THE LATEST FIGURES,OR YOUR EXCITEMENT FOR NEW DEVELOPMENTS WITHIN THE COMPANY. THIS OPENS UP LINES OF COMMUNICATIONS( THEY WILL AT LEAST EMAIL YOU BACK),AND THEY WILL SEE THAT YOU ARE PAYING ATTENTION. TRUST ME THE WORD WILL GET BACK TO LOVER BOY. HE WILL HAVE A REAL EYE OPENER WHEN YOUR NAME IS BROUGHT UP ON THE NEXT CONFERENCE CALL. ONCE THESE LINES OF COMMUNICATION ARE OPEN -KEEP THEM OPEN. STOP BY THEIR OFFICE AND LET THEM SEE YOUR FACE,AND SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT YOUR CURRENT BOSS( AKA-JERK). THIS WAY IF DURING YOUR REVIEW FOR PROMOTION, HE HAS ANYTHING NEGATIVE TO SAY,IT LOOKS VERY PERSONAL ON HIS END. IF ALL YOU'VE DONE IS PROVE YOURSELF IN YOUR WORK,AND TALK ABOUT THE GREAT PROGRESS YOUR DEPARTMENT IS MAKING,DUE IN PART TO YOUR GREAT BOSS,THEN HE WOULD HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY HE DOESN'T THINK YOU DESERVE THE PROMOTION. DO YOU REALLY THINK HE'S GOING TO SAY,IV'E BEEN SLEEPING WITH HER-NOPE. THE COMPANY DOESN'T WANT A SEXUAL MISCONDUCT SUIT ON THEIR HANDS,NOW DO THEY!!

  1. MAKE HER BOSS BE EXCLUSIVE TO HER,BECAUSE SHE'S IN LOVE

WE'LL SUGA THIS ONE IS A BIT TRICKY. FIRST OFF, YOU NEED TO TAKE SOME TIME TO EVALUATE WHY YOU THINK THIS IS LOVE. YOU MAY BE HAVING A GREAT TIME IN THE SACK,BUT IT'S PROBABLY NOT LOVE. LOVE SHOWS ITSELF AS KIND AND THIS GUY IS GIVING ME SLEAZE BAG VIBES. YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM LOVE YOU,BUT YOU CAN MAKE HIM RESPECT YOU ,BY RESPECTING YOURSELF. PEOPLE CAN ONLY DO WHAT YOU ALLOW THEM TO. FOCUS ON YOUR CAREER AND LOVE WILL HAPPEN. TRUST ME I'M NOT SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH HIM THAT YOU DON'T RESPECT YOURSELF. YOU ARE A MULTIFACETED WOMAN WHO DOESN'T PUT HERSELF IN A BOX,BUT THIS GUY ISN'T. IF HE WAS PROGRESSIVE ENOUGH TO BE IN A REAL personal/PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU, THEN MY ADVICE WOULD BE DIFFERENT. FOR THIS GUY,YOU NEED TO MOVE ON. YOU MAY SAY, "WELL WHAT IF HE CHANGES,WHAT IF ONCE I GET THE PROMOTION  HE STARTS TO SEE  ME WITH RESPECT?" MY ANSWER IS GIRL,HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN RESPECTING YOU NO MATTER WHAT.take back your power,get your promotion and do it with gumption!!!!

love,

GINA